It was one of those days. One of those exhausted-from-no-sleep-why-did-I-think-I-would-be-good-at-this kind of days. The house was a wreck, the girls were fighting, the baby was personally offended by my attempts to wipe her constantly drippy nose. All my efforts to make peace were met by more silly squabbles. Then it happened. As the littlest one kicked the slightly less little one in the face, I braced my ears for the cries of injustice. But much to my surprise, she laughed! So she kicked her again and she laughed again. The baby thought it was wildly hilarious. Their laughter made me laugh and soon all 5 of us were losing our minds!
This little incident has stuck with me for a number of reasons, but one in particular is the approaching Day of Pentecost which of course has a tendency to bring a special focus to the fruit of the Spirit, in this case – JOY.
I’ve always been intrigued by the concept of “joy.” What it is, how we find it (and keep it!), how something as simple as a kick in the face can bring it about. But over the last couple years, I’ve realized how important joy is in regard to parenting. It can make such a difference in our home when joy is alive and well.
I recently attended a wonderful Q&A webinar with Cindy Rollins about Morning Time, and aside from some super helpful advice about the beginning of our school days, she gave me a golden nugget that I’ve been ruminating on since that talk in September. She emphasized the importance of joy in our approach to our children. She said that we must enjoy our children and they must KNOW that we enjoy them. (Otherwise, everything we’re trying to do will be in vain!)
As I’ve come to learn over my short journey thus far in life: You can’t “fake” joy. I’ve heard (or read) people talk about joy as if it is something deep down that transcends all other emotions or circumstances. And it is! For sure… that joy, joy, joy is absolutely down in our hearts! But it isn’t down in there without affecting the rest of our being!
We learn in Proverbs that having joy in our hearts actually shows up in a very obvious place: our face!
“A merry heart makes a cheerful face!” (Proverbs 15:13).
When I think about this concept, I think about my Grandpa. My grandparents have to be some of the most generous people. Aside from always giving gifts, they would also house our entire family for special weekends. And I mean aunts, uncles, cousins, and as we’ve grown up, babies galore! But even though it was a lot of work and I’m sure a lot of stress, each morning my grandpa would greet me with the sweetest smile that lit his entire face accompanied by the sing-song remark, “Mornin’, sunshine!” I remember wishing as a child that I could live at my grandparents’ house. Aren’t grandparents just the best?!
I could give similar examples about my girls’ grandparents (but I’ll let them tell their own stories one day!) I share this example because there was no question (in my mind) that my Grandpa enjoyed having us around. It showed, among other ways, by the expression on his face. Oh if my face were ever so shiny! Ever since that webinar in September, I’ve been asking God to show me how to really enjoy my kids in a way that is clearly evident to them. How can I keep my joy from getting stuck in the cloud of exhaustion, whiny attitudes and sister squabbles?
In His unfailing kindness, this Scripture keeps coming back to my awareness:
“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).
Can you imagine, fullness of joy? The laughter of babies and children has got to be one of the most joyful sounds. We’ve had some pretty good times in a house full of little ones. But full joy? It’s hard to imagine. I read a wonderful book recently called the Happiness Dare, by Jennifer Dukes Lee. Aside from the common misperception about the “personhood” of the Holy Spirit, it was such a great read! Of the many great quotes this one stood out:
“Happiness is a gift from a happy God. “
We can have full joy in God’s presence because He is full of joy! And we can experience the wonderful fruit of His Spirit by staying attached to the Source, the Vine. If we want more joy, we need more of Him! More time in His word, more prayer, and more meditation throughout the day.
I can only imagine the fullness of joy when we are fully in His presence in the world to come, free of all the hindrances we now face. But until then, we can let His Spirit produce the fruit of joy in our lives – now! And we can fully enjoy our children when our hearts are full of joy. Let them see it on your face! And when the going gets tough, don’t give up! You never know when the next kick in the face will turn your day around.
Go ahead – laugh at your children! (Just make sure they’re laughing too!)
4 Responses
What a lovely perspective! Thanks for the personal insights, Emily. The most joyful times of our lives revolve around the time we spend with family and friends, not with the materialism on which so many focus. You’re doing a great job with your little ones and I’m thrilled that your family is heading back north. Hopefully we’ll have the blessing of seeing all of you from time to time!
Thank you, Mrs. Gaba! You are so kind, as always. Hope to see you again soon!
Excellent! I believe I showed my children joyfulness in having them and being with them when they were young, but coukd have done a better job of it as life became more and more challenging for me.
Thanks for your faithful example, even through the difficult times!